In the midst of what seemed wonderful, there were things that weighed so heavy on my 26 year-old heart. I remember taking my journal out to a field behind SIM and crying out to the Lord. I had 3 things that I made my anxiety spiral out of control:
What if I never learned the language? For an extrovert who loves to connect with people, this was my worst nightmare. What if I could never communicate my love for Jesus? What if I had to sit silently, never making a deep heart connection with anyone for 2 years?
What if I never made friends? The fear of loneliness away from friends and family haunted me.
What if I never get married? Let's just be honest, this was probably my worst fear. The thought of leaving the country at the age of 26 for 2 years with NO possibility of marriage in the near or distant future made me cry.
As I laid these worries before the Lord one by one, he met me there. He did not meet me with answers but instead with Trust me. So I stepped out, trusting the God who had always been there and promised to walk with me whatever happened.
Fastfoward to 2020 during a crazy pandemic when this extroverted mama felt stuck and alone. Steven had the great idea of walking the 40 acres behind SIM USA, which I had never done before. As we walked, I saw the spot from 2007 where I cried out to the Lord and he heard me. I took this picture to remind myself: this is where the Lord met you and here is a little piece of the fulfillment of His answer to you.
I honestly love thinking back on that time in 2007 because the Lord answered each one of those prayers: the language learning, the friends and the husband. None of them came how I thought they would or when, but it was in His perfect time and way.
So no matter what is swirling around my mind, my heart or this crazy world, I remind myself to go back and hear Jesus whisper those sweet words to me, Trust me because He has been faithful and will continue to be.
