Trust Me

In 2007, I was sitting in Charlotte, NC preparing for my 2 years in Ecuador working at a coffee shop ministry to college and university students (my absolutely dream job!) I had the opportunity to hear from some very seasoned and wonderful missionaries and be encouraged by fellow missionaries getting ready to go out. My excitement was mounting with all the possibilities that lay before me!

In the midst of what seemed wonderful, there were things that weighed so heavy on my 26 year-old heart. I remember taking my journal out to a field behind SIM and crying out to the Lord. I had 3 things that I made my anxiety spiral out of control:

What if I never learned the language? For an extrovert who loves to connect with people, this was my worst nightmare. What if I could never communicate my love for Jesus? What if I had to sit silently, never making a deep heart connection with anyone for 2 years?
What if I never made friends? The fear of loneliness away from friends and family haunted me.
What if I never get married? Let's just be honest, this was probably my worst fear. The thought of leaving the country at the age of 26 for 2 years with NO possibility of marriage in the near or distant future made me cry.

As I laid these worries before the Lord one by one, he met me there. He did not meet me with answers but instead with Trust me. So I stepped out, trusting the God who had always been there and promised to walk with me whatever happened.

Fastfoward to 2020 during a crazy pandemic when this extroverted mama felt stuck and alone. Steven had the great idea of walking the 40 acres behind SIM USA, which I had never done before. As we walked, I saw the spot from 2007 where I cried out to the Lord and he heard me. I took this picture to remind myself: this is where the Lord met you and here is a little piece of the fulfillment of His answer to you.

I honestly love thinking back on that time in 2007 because the Lord answered each one of those prayers: the language learning, the friends and the husband. None of them came how I thought they would or when, but it was in His perfect time and way.

So no matter what is swirling around my mind, my heart or this crazy world, I remind myself to go back and hear Jesus whisper those sweet words to me, Trust me because He has been faithful and will continue to be.

What's your word?

Present. Grow. Humble. Surrender. Depth. All words that people give to the new year. Sometimes it's based off of things you want for the future or regrets you have in the past. I have done this the past several years but rarely remember what my word even is from year to year, let alone allow it to affect my life!

To try and keep myself accountable, I'm writing it here so that January 1, 2021 I can look back and ask myself: was that true of you in 2020?

My "word" for 2020 is rather a phrase from Mark 6:31, "Come away with me." After long days of ministry, little rest and no food, Jesus called his disciples into the boat and said, "Come away with me. Let us go alone to a quiet place and rest for a while." Can you hear them breath a sigh of relief?

I have a mental picture of Jesus in the boat reaching out his hand to me on the shore, Come away with me. He is beaconing me to draw near, leave the multitude, truly rest and enjoy Him. Enjoy. Him.

Let's be honest, I'm tired and have been for a long time (I create cute kids who don't sleep!) But true rest is not something I'm good at. I am notorious for not giving myself margin. I try and fit it all in because I hate missing out or saying no. Even in my time with the Lord, it can feel like I'm checking a box, not finding real rest in Him! With two small children at home and loving being with people the way I do, I realized that if I want a quiet place to rest, that has to be a priority, not an afterthought. So this year, I'm choosing to make it a priority.

The God of the universe wants to meet with me and give me rest. Come away with me.

Whatever your word might be for 2020, know that THIS year, Jesus is calling. For those of you who do not know Him, He wants you to come, believe and be made new. For those who do, He's calling you deeper.

Come away with me. What will your answer be?