The Blizzard of Suffering

This week at church, our pastor talked about suffering and gave the most amazing analogy. This is the Jamie's condensed version: our need of Jesus is like a furnace in the bottom of our house (he's from Ohio... they have those there). During the summer months you may not even remember that it's there because you feel don't need it, but as fall and winter set in, you turn it on and enjoy your happy home. But when a blizzard comes you don't just realize your need for it, you get as close to it as you possibly can to stay warm. Suffering causes the same thing in our lives - to get as close to Jesus as possible. As he shared that, I began to think of my own suffering moments and the closeness of Jesus... 

Everyone’s picture of suffering looks different. Some are much more extreme and some are far more mild but suffering is real and God can really meet you there. Here's when Jesus met me...

From the moment he was awake to random moments he went to sleep, he cried. “Babies cry” was the response I got from a lot of people… that is until they heard him. The astonished look people would give when he let out his wails of pain from the depths of his soul… they were intense. Yep, that’s what I dealt with for the first 9-10 months of Andrew's life. I don’t have those sweet infant baby pictures of them curled up in a little basket. I have the mental image of a face twisted in pain and an exhausted mother just trying to hold it together. 

I cannot count the number of days and nights I cried out to the Lord and begged him to “fix” my son; to allow him to sleep, to allow ME to sleep. Some days He felt silent like He didn’t care that I was losing my mind. And then He would send me things. 

One day I remember starting out the morning with Andrew strapped to me, crying (as usual), bouncing and walking back and forth across my small apartment living room. A friend of mine had posted a worship song, which I clicked on in desperation to hear a word of encouragement. That word turned into pure and sweet worship of my Savior. Yes, I still cried out for Him to take this from me, but I wept as I bounced, sang and cried out to the One who hears. Did Andrew stop crying? No. Not by a long shot. But oh how Jesus met me there that day.

Several other days he sent friends to hold and rock him while I got a moment of peace. He sent fellow mamas to speak words of life and encouragement into my weary soul. 

But here is one thing He didn’t do: He didn’t make Andrew stop crying - he didn't stop the blizzard, even though I knew he could. As I leaned in, he held me there. It absolutely brings me to tears to remember these moments. They were hard. I would not wish them on anyone nor would I want to do it again. BUT I am glad that I suffered because I met my Jesus in a way I never would have if Andrew would have slept and ate like the baby I would have liked. 

You're invited to a wedding...

This year I have TWO very close friends getting married. Needless to say, I've got weddings on the brain. To top it off, our pastor has been preaching through Revelation and recently discussed the Marriage Supper of the Lamb.  

As Pastor Don shared with us the correlations between a Jewish wedding celebration and the book of Revelation, I stood in awe at so many things. I would really love to share some of those with you if you have the time to read...

In a Jewish wedding celebration, in those days, (as I understand) it would begin with the groom paying the bride's dowry and leaving a guarantee, something precious, so that all (especially the bride) would know that he was coming back for his beloved. He would then leave to add a room to his father's house and when that room was finished, he would come back to collect his bride. She was to wait in joyful anticipation at his return. She had no idea when he would return, only that he would. So she would make beautiful things to put in her new home and prepare her wedding garments.

When Pastor Don shared those things with us, a lightbulb just went off for me. WOW! My groom has paid the price for me at the cross, left His Holy Spirit as a guarantee that He will come back for me. He promised that He "goes to prepare a place" in His Father's house and that I should be ready because He could come back at any moment.

When I think about my two girlfriends preparing for their weddings, there is so much preparation and so much excitement... the most beautiful dress, the perfect wedding venue, and everything has to be just right. When you talk to them about their weddings, they are FILLED with joy. Why? Because they get to marry the man of their dreams.

Emily right after Pierre shouted "She's beautiful!"

At my friend Emily's wedding, her soon-to-be husband, Pierre couldn't contain his excitement. The doors opened and as she was about half way down the aisle, he shouted out, "She's beautiful!" He could not wait to have her as his own -  that's how Jesus feels about you and me. He can't wait for the day that we get to be together forever.

But until then, how are we (the church) waiting for our groom? With joyful anticipation? Inviting everyone and anyone to come and join the celebration? Or, are we pretending like we aren't even getting married - just living life like it's any other day?

If you aren't sure if you're invited, let me extend that invitation to you right now... Jesus loves you. He  desperately wants to be with you. Your sin keeps that from being a possibility, so he paid the ultimate sacrifice - he died for you. But then Easter... he rose again! And calls out to all, "COME and be my bride! Believe that my sacrifice was enough." If you believe, he leaves you the guarantee of His Holy Spirit and tells you, "Behold I am coming soon!" So invite others, grow in him, and remember your groom is coming for you!

My flower bed = a scene from Jumanji

This is the first time we have ever had a yard let alone a flower bed to tend. I have no clue about gardening and kill most things I try to keep alive. So when we moved into our house, I didn't have high hopes for our flower bed. I figure I'm good at killing things so nothing out there should last too long. Well, I was wrong. Our front flower bed is a wreck - not with dead things, but with too many WEEDS. Every time I pass by, I cringe because it is so overgrown (see picture!). Honestly, at this point I can't tell what's a weed and what's a plant.

Yesterday afternoon I had it. As the kids played, I went after those weeds like a crazy person. There were a series of vines that were covering the ground, taking over rose bushes and trying to climb into our house! You want to hear the crazy thing? I didn't even SEE it all until I started pulling it out.

Pulling up weed after weed, the Lord impressed on me the sin that can live in my own heart - the way it hides in plain sight. If you have a nicely manicured flower bed, pulling a weed on a weekly or daily basis is no big deal. But if your flower bed has turned into a scene from Jumanji, it's going to take a while. Some weeds even tricked me into thinking, "That's a plant, not a weed. It looks kind of pretty - maybe I should just keep it." Until I pulled it up with satisfaction knowing it was one more weed invading my beautiful space (hard to believe the picture below is the SAME corner of my flower bed).

Sin comes in all shapes and sizes. There seem to be the obvious ones like lying, stealing, cheating and hate. While pride, ungratefulness, gluttony, selfishness, and gossip seem to hide in the category of "pretty weeds," but Jesus sees them all the same. I do not want these weeds taking over my life - they've got to go!

I must go to the Master Gardener, Jesus Christ who can take care of my sin problem. Jesus not only rescued me from my sin, but He now takes the time to clear out my junk. He lovingly and sometimes painfully clears out the weeds - for my good and His glory.